Freedom Fighter Media - How to Sound $%*@! Presidential

Read Previous Week In Revolt Articles

14 June 2010

How to Sound $%*@! Presidential

(art by Stan Borack, 1958)

Tough Guy, Eh?
I am not a tough guy. I don't look tough and I don't act tough (not counting my squint from being near sighted). If I told you I was going to kick your rear around your ears, you'd most likely laugh, give me a pat on the head, and say, "You're so cute."

This lack of toughness is something I share with our POTUS. Obama comes off more like Deputy Barney Fife than Inspector "Dirty" Harry Callahan. No matter how tough he talks, tough he ain't.

Unfortunately, the president has been taking his "make mine macho" meme from Spike Lee, "One time, go off! If there's any one time to go off, this is it, because this is a disaster." (Anderson Cooper 360, 2 June 2010) and Bill Maher, "I thought when we elected a black president, we were going to get a black president. You know, this [BP oil spill] is where I want a real black president. I want him in a meeting with the BP CEOs, you know, where he lifts up his shirt, where you can see the gun in his pants. That's -- (in black man voice) 'we've got a $%*@! problem here?' Shoot somebody in the foot." (Real Time, 29 May 2010).

About a week after getting this "advice" from people who are supposed to be on his side, Obama said, "I was down there a month ago, before most of these talking heads were even paying attention to the Gulf. A month ago I was meeting with fishermen down there, standing in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be. I don't sit around talking to experts because this is a college seminar. We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick." (NBC, Today, 7 June 2010)

Really? Seriously? Presidents do kick $%*@! from time to time. We've had presidents take on the British, the Spanish, the Japanese, the Italians, the Germans, the Mexicans, the Koreans, the Russians, even the Barbary Pirates (today, they might take on trans-fats and salt). But Obama hasn't shown that he wants to kick anyone's behind besides the American people: Health Care Reform (sic), Cap and Trade, Too-Big-To-Fail buy-outs and buy-ins, the Value Added Tax (the ultimate oxymoron). He's happy to take on Talk Radio and FoxNEWS, the Tea Party, Arizona, and Israel. But take on BP? I don't think so.

This sounds more like the president, doesn't it, "You know, uh, uh, I am furious at this entire situation because this is an example of where somebody didn't think through, uh, the consequences of their actions"? (Larry King interview about the BP disaster, 2 June 2010)

Furious. One fit short of a hissy. Actually, despite the Left blaming Bush for this (and virtually every Biblical plague), the BP spill is all Obama. It happened on his watch and with his signature.

(artist unknown, 1953)

PayPal And Warner/ Chappell Music, Inc. Put The Ban On
In a bold move, Warner/ Chappell Music, Inc. stood up for thin-skinned jihadists everywhere by making sure that an extremely funny video, "We Con The World," sung to "We Are The World," got pulled from the web. One would think "fair use" would protect this work. It can still be seen right here (but you'd better hurry)!

PayPal put the kibosh against Pamela Geller's Atlas Shrugs using its services since she is "currently in violation of PayPal's Acceptable Use Policy." Her crime? Why, "hate" against Islam. Duh. You can read all about it here. The good news is that Pam has already switched to another on-line payment system.

Democrat Just Wants To Know, "Who Are You?"
North Carolina Rep. Bob Etheridge [D] did a little $%*@! kicking of his own when confronted by two ominous white students wearing suits, brandishing threatening weapons (a flip-camera and mic), and using hate speech like, "Hi Congressman."

Wait, I thought that Christians and Jews and Conservatives and Tea-Party attendees (about 30% of which are made up of Democrats) are the violent hate-fattened fascists who want to bring the USA back to the Dark Ages (the 1770s). And how do we know this really is Etheridge? Could be another Republican plant!

Yes, the Tea Party is a violent racist group, isn't it? After all, Princess Leia says so (the question: "Do you think Tea Party is just people who are pissed that there is an African American president?") "Yup, and the fact that they chose to call themselves "teabaggers," which is slang for a certain act involving b***s. It sort of says a lot. I would say a mouthful. Looks like it's very upsetting for them, but he's brilliant. The thing is, he's half white but that's still not enough -- for them it's all white or f**k off. I think we don't deserve him and certainly teabaggers don't deserve him." (PopEater, 14 June 2010).

Note to Carrie Fisher (but only her, I'm sure no other Hollywood celebrity has this problem): if you'd read something besides The Los Angeles Times and The Hollywood Reporter, you'd know that Tea Party people DO NOT call themselves Tea Baggers and had no idea, unlike you, what strange behavior this alluded to. You'd also know that the percentage of blacks in the Tea Party is roughly equivalent to the percentage of blacks in the US population at large. Still, I think you looked cute with those Danishes on your head back in the day.

Thomas J. Clement